Zelf een comic schrijven. Iedereen
die comics leest, heeft daar wel een keertje over nagedacht.
Eind 1994 was het ook bij mij zover. Op dat moment werkte
ik al een tijdje als vertaler voor Juniorpress en met mijn
kleine beetje ervaring dacht ik genoeg te weten over het hoe
en wat van een eenvoudig comic script. Vrolijk werkte ik een
ideetje uit waar ik reeds een jaar iets mee wilde doen: een
kort verhaal waarin de held nu eens geen heldhaftige keuze
maakt. Eenmaal geschreven, belandde het script op een stapel
papier.
Tijdens een grote schoonmaak kwam
ik het inmiddels behoorlijk vergeelde script onlangs weer
tegen. Bij het doorlezen ontdekte ik vrij snel dat het in
het Engels geschreven verhaal een bron van schaamte was. Onder
normale omstandigheden zou dat een goede reden zijn geweest
om het script snel te verbranden, te verscheuren of weg te
gooien. Of alledrie. Maar ja, ik meldde het op het messageboard
en daar werd direct gesmeekt om de publicatie van het script.
Langzaam begon het te kriebelen, ik schaafde de boel een beetje
bij, herschreef bepaalde pagina's bijna volledig en heb zeven
jaar na dato weer een comic script op mijn bureau liggen.
Hieronder heb ik het script voor 'Hero
Talk' opgenomen. Je kunt het tevens downloaden als een Word-document
(downloaden via de rechtermuisknop en vervolgens 'opslaan
als').
Oorspronkelijk was het script geschreven
op de Neil Gaiman manier: heel veel beschrijvingen van wat
er op elke pagina en in elk kader moet gebeuren. Dat vond
ik overdreven en ik heb uiteindelijk gekozen voor de Warren
Ellis manier: korte omschrijvingen van wat er gebeurt, zodat
voor de tekenaar aardig wat ruimte voor eigen interpretatie
overblijft.
hero
talk :: script
Page 1
Page 1, Panel 1
Open up on uptown New York City, late in the evening. We see
the busy lights of Lower Manhattan, but the focus is on the
more quiet part of town, near Central Park.
Caption: New York City, just before
midnight.
Page 1, Panel 2
Zoom in on a man, exiting a fancy house through an opened
window. He is in his late twenties, wearing dark street clothes,
including a jacket, black boots and gloves. As he tucks a
suitcase underneath his arm, he is admiring some expensive
necklaces.
Caption: A quiet part of town...
Page 1, Panel 3
Low angle. We look up at the man smiling to himself after
a job well done but also notice a shadow above him on the
front side of the house.
Caption: ...but not TOO quiet.
Page 1, Panel 4
The man looks shocked as something or someone carries him
off his feet. He lets go of the suitcase and necklaces, which
go flying through the air.
Man: WHAAA!
Page 2
Page 2, Panel 1
A winged woman, speeding up and towards us, is carrying the
man into the air. She is Angel, the city's mysterious hero,
so the man looks up at her with something resembling awe,
mouth wide open. She is dressed in a full-body suit, leaving
only her arms bare. Her hair is a fiery red, held together
in a ponytail and it would have been her distinctive feature
were it not for the big, feathery white wings coming out of
her back.
Angel: This must be your lucky day.
Page 2, Panel 2
Angel carries the man, holding him by his arms and quickly
gaining altitude. The city skyline becomes visible.
Man: It sure is.
Angel: Oh, come on. When was the last
time you saw your city from somewhere OTHER than the gutter?
Man: You wouldn't believe me.
Page 3
Page 3, Panel 1
Angel makes a turn in mid-air, the man swinging underneath
her.
Angel: I'm giving you a whole new
perspective. You really should be thanking me.
Page 3, Panel 2
Close-up. The man looks up at Angel, calmly, with no sign
of fear on his face. Angel's bare arms brush against his head
as she carries him.
Man: Thank you.
Angel: SEE? That wasn't so hard, was
it?
Page 3, Panel 3
The man appears to lose his interest, looking down, while
Angel smiles the smile of one who is very much in control
of the situation.
Angel: Good behaviour gets you more
than breaking and entering all the time. The guy I caught
with his hands in the federal cookie jar last year? He's a
volunteer at the homeless shelter now.
Man: Yeah, I know. Good for him.
Angel: You KNOW? Hmm, I hadn't figured
you for somebody who reads newspapers.
Man: I don't.
Page 3, Panel 4
Angel stops dead in her tracks and hovers over a few large
buildings, flapping her wings to keep her in place.
Angel: What?
Man: I don't read newspapers.
Angel: Then how did you--?
Man: Same reason I know you won't
be dropping me off at the police station tonight.
Page 3, Panel 5
With a resolute grin, Angel glares downwards at the man.
Angel: Hate to disappoint you, but
that IS going to happen.
Man: Sure it is.
Page 3, Panel 6
The man smiles, staring into space, not looking up.
Angel: Enlighten me. Why?
Man: Because you and I are going to
make a deal and then you will let me go.
Page 4
Page 4, Panel 1
Wide shot, showing Angel and the man landing on the roof of
one of the skyscrapers.
Angel: So I'll let you GO, huh?
Page 4, Panel 2
The man adjusts his jacket now that he is no longer being
carried. He still looks calm, while Angel shakes with laughter.
Her wings have folded neatly behind her back.
Angel: HA-HA-HAAA!
Page 4, Panel 3
Angel wipes a tear of laughter from her eye. With her other
hand, she grabs the man's arm again.
Angel: You're the funniest guy I ever
busted, I'll give you that.
Angel: Now let's go. I haven't got
all night.
Man: You're not taking me SERIOUSLY,
are you?
Page 4, Panel 4
Both stand at the edge of the roof. Angel is ready to fly
away, her wings unfolded.
Man: You are going to let me go because
I know who you are.
Angel: Uh-huh. Let's go.
Page 4, Panel 5
The man is taking control of the situation, a gleam in his
eyes, flashing a mean grin.
Man: No, no, you're not listening.
I KNOW who you ARE.
Man: See, you're not the ONLY one
with supernatural powers in this city. I may not have any
fancy powers like you have, but my talent is a lot cooler
than those wings of yours.
Page 4, Panel 6
Angel lets go of the man and stands facing him with her arms
folded, wings spread behind her.
Angel: Okay, I'll bite... what are
your powers, then?
Man: If I touch someone else, or if
that someone touches me, I know everything there is to know
about that person. Their mind's an open book. In a flash,
I see EVERYTHING.
Page 4, Panel 7
Close-up. The man is still grinning widely as Angel's face
lights up with understanding.
Angel: And since I touched you--
Man: I know what every single newspaper
has been trying to find out for the past two years. I know
who you REALLY are.
Page 5
Page 5, Panel 1
Anger clouds Angel's eyes; she just caught the man in a lie.
She forcibly grabs his arms again and takes off.
Angel: Nice bluff, but you just told
me you don't read newspapers. Time to haul your ass off to
the precinct.
Man: Your real name is Tammy Gowan.
Page 5, Panel 2
Angel and the man hang a few feet above the roof of the skyscraper.
She is hovering, a mixture of shock, surprise and anger on
her face.
Man: You were twenty-one when one
morning you looked into the mirror and found little stumps
on your back. They were growing. You thought you were losing
your mind, fled to New York and have been living in low-rent
shitholes ever since.
Man: But that's not even the fun part.
You were born in 1977, you grew up on the wrong side of a
bad suburb, your father sexually abused you when you were
thirteen years old, you haven't seen your sister Nicole in
four years, you blame yourself for your mother's death--
Man: Need I go on?
Page 5, Panel 3
Close-up on Angel. She is biting her lower lip and looks down
at the man in disgust, trying to contain her anger but failing
desperately.
No dialogue
Page 5, Panel 4
In an outburst of anger, Angel throws the man back down onto
the roof.
Angel: You-- you -- ASSHOLE!
Page 5, Panel 5
The man wipes the dust off of his jacket and sits up. The
fall hasn't hurt him and he still looks very composed.
Man: NOW who is the one who should
be preaching about good behaviour?
Man: Listen, you know I'm not lying.
Man: So you're going to let me walk.
You NEVER get near me again. Because if you do, I'm sure there
are at least five major daily newspapers that will be VERY
interested in knowing the secret identity of the Angel.
Page 6
Page 6, Panel 1
Close-up. Angel strokes her hair with both hands, resting
at her neck, elbows pointing forward. Even after her outburst,
she still has a hard time controlling her anger.
Angel: Fuck you.
Page 6, Panel 2
Angel is back on the roof, wings still unfolded as she stands
with her legs firmly apart. She points an angry finger at
the man, who is inspecting his jacket.
Angel: FUCK YOU! They won't believe
you anyway.
Page 6, Panel 3
Revealing a white shirt underneath, the man takes off his
jacket and swings it over his shoulder, holding it with one
finger.
Man: I wasn't finished.
Man: If you bust my ass today, I promise
you that the minute I walk out of the police station, your
daughter dies.
Page 6, Panel 4
Angel is visibly shaken. She stumbles backwards, her hand
to her head.
Angel: Wha--?
Man: Hey, pay attention! I just told
you. Supernatural powers, touch, flash, instant knowledge?
REMEMBER?
Man: Yeah, I know all about your little
Samantha. Three years old now, right? I know you love her
more than anything else, because she is your only reminder
of her daddy.
Man: Let me go and I won't kill her.
Page 6, Panel 5
Angel has turned her back on the man. A tear is rolling down
her cheek, her teeth gritted. The man gestures with his free
arm, pointing at the spot he is talking about.
Angel: Goddamn you, asshole!
Man: Yeah, yeah, you could throw insults
at me all night, but it won't get us anywhere. You want to
go home, I want to get laid, so do us BOTH a favor and drop
me off near the park there. Okay?
Page 7
Page 7, Panel 1
Close-up on Angel. She is looking up, staring at the sky,
as the tear progresses down her cheek.
No dialogue.
Page 7, Panel 2
Close-up on Angel. Her eyes are darting and she is looking
down now, the tear close to her mouth.
No dialogue.
Page 7, Panel 3
Close-up on Angel. She wipes away the tear: she has made up
her mind.
Angel: No.
Page 7, Panel 4
Angel wraps her arms around the man's chest and takes to the
sky.
Angel: No. NO ONE threatens my daughter.
I'm going to drop you off all right, but on MY terms.
Man: Hey! Wha--?
Page 7, Panel 5
The man struggles in her arm, letting go off his jacket. He
has lost control of the conversation and he looks frightened
for the first time.
Man: But you're a HERO! You can't
do this!
Page 7, Panel 6
Angel picks up speed, streaking away from the skyscraper.
Angel: Really? YOU'RE the one who
claimed he knew everything there is to know about me. Don't
blame ME if you got my hero ethics all wrong.
Page 8
Page 8, Panel 1
Flying horizontally, Angel makes a sudden swing upwards, releasing
the man. He is flailing desperately, starting his freefall.
Man: YAAAAAA!
Page 8, Panel 2
Angel is flying towards us, her arms alongside her body. Her
wings are at full spread and as she climbs, she leaves the
city behind her.
Caption: It's a quiet part of town...
Caption: ...but when even a silence
can be deafening...